記得好像是幾年前, 我曾經看到這篇文章, 文章出處在此, 之後阿婆就常利用這篇文章中的分類來形容人, 但是每次引用前, 都需要將各式的分類再重新敘述一遍, 這樣對懶惰成性的阿婆來說可是一種負擔阿!

今天我就將在這把在美國的亞洲人分類大公開吧! 雖然有些可能已經不符合目前的現狀了, 但是看看你是屬於哪一種!


Twinkie

-Besides your nationality, there is little to distinguish you from white people
除了你的國籍外, 很難把你跟白人區分開來
-Your significant other is not Asian and never has been
你的另一半不是亞洲人, 也從來沒有過亞洲的另一半
-You have few Asian friends, if any
如果你有亞洲朋友的話, 也只有一小部份是亞洲人
-You are embarrassed at family events because you cannot speak your language and everyone has to switch to English to communicate with you
你覺得去家庭聚會很尷尬, 因為你不會說你自己語言, 每個人跟你講話的時候都要換成英文
-You have no idea that the other types of Asians on this list even exist
你從來不知道還有這個名單其他亞洲族群的存在
-You think Hello Kitty is dumb and do not know what Sanrio is
你覺得 Hello Kitty 是很無聊的東西, 也不知道什麼是 Sanrio
-You are the only Asian on this list that does not know what Bubble Tea is
這個名單上你是唯一不知道波霸奶茶的族群
-You drive a Ford or some other domestic car and if you drive a Honda, it is stock
你開的車是福特或是其他的美國車, 如果你開的是 Honda, 那一定是原本家裡就有 的

Asian-American

-You claim yourself as Asian, but real Asians think you're whitewashed and non-Asians see you as a foreigner. You fit in nowhere
你自稱自己是亞洲人, 但是真正的亞洲人覺得你已經被白化很深而其他非亞洲人也不覺得你與他們一樣, 你並不屬於任何一邊
- You have heard of Bubble Tea but have never actually had any
你有聽過波霸奶茶, 但是從來沒喝過
-You are confused about your cultural identity and express this frustration through spoken word performances at your college
你對自己的種族文化很困惑, 並透過學校中的說寫來顯示你的無力感
-You read A. magazine and think it's great
你看色情雜誌並且覺得很棒
-You do not know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, Hikki, or Kangta are
你不知道誰是黎明郭富城
-You are only vaguely aware of the other Asians below
你大概知道以下的其他亞洲族群

Yap (Young Asian Professional)

-You are in one of these professions:
你在以下的工作領域上班
a)Medicine / Pharmaceutical 藥劑業
b) Engineering 工程
c) Finance 理財
d) Investment Banking 金融投資
e) Accounting 會計

- Most of your wardrobe was purchased at Banana Republic`
你的服裝大部分是從香蕉帝國買來的
- You go to "mixers" on Thursday nights to meet other Yaps and talk about the Dow Jones.
你星期四晚上會去 mixers 與其他的 yaps 見面並討論道瓊指數
- You did exactly what your parents wanted you to do and as a result, your life is hella boring
你這輩子只做了你父母要你做的事走的路, 你的人生很無趣
- Your apartment/home is decorated almost exclusively with stuff from Pier 1
你的家裡的裝飾都是從 Pier 1 import 買來的
- Your parents always talk to their friends about how much money you make. If they don't, then you're a disappointment
你的父母會跟他們的朋友們炫耀你賺多少錢, 如果他們沒有的話, 你就讓他們很失望了


Fob (Fresh Off tha Boat)

- You were not born in America
你不是在美國生的
- You know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, Hikki, and Kangta are. In fact, you have seen them at Atlantic City or Las Vegas recently
你知道誰是黎明, 郭富城, 你最近還有去賭城看他們的演唱會
- You speak your native language fluently and so do all your friends
你跟你的朋友們都會說很流利的亞洲語言
- You do not have any non-Asian friends
你的朋友都是亞洲人
- Your parents do not speak any English
你的爸媽不會說英文
- When you speak English, you like to make everything plural
你說英文時, 你喜歡每個東西都用複數表達
- You get extremely good grades in school
你在學校的成績很好
- You cannot dance
你不會跳舞
- Your fashion sense comes from whatever country you're from and you incorporate nothing from American fashion into your wardrobe
你的審美觀來自你的國家, 你並沒有接受美國的流行文化

SuperFob

- Your command of the English language is minimal and you don't care
你不在乎你的英文不好
- You like dim sum chicken feet
你喜歡吃鳳爪
- You do not own a single CD, VCD, Video game, or DVD that isn't bootlegged
你沒有一張 CD, VCD 或是 video game 是正版的
- Your only hangout is Chinatown
你只在中國城出入
- All the lights in your house are fluorescent
你家所有的燈都是日光燈
- You dry your cloths outside your window
你在外面曬衣服
- You need a haircut
你需要去剪頭髮
- You either smell like cigarettes or food
你聞起來像香煙或是食物

Fobabee

- You are an Asian-American or Twinkie who has recently "awoken"
你是最近才覺醒的亞裔美國人或是 twinkie
- You have a newly found fetish of Asian girls/boys
你最近開始喜歡亞洲的女生或男生
- You have taken the Asian Studies course at college
你在學校開始上些亞洲文化的課
- You are trying to learn as much as possible about your culture to make up for your lifetime of trying to be white (Twinkie ; Banana) or Black (Chigger ; Tea egg)
你開始努力學習有關自己的文化背景以彌補過去的不足
- If you are lucky, you will grow to become Fobulous
如果你幸運的話, 你可以成長為 Fobulous

Gangsta Fob (Fobsta)

- You have shot another Asian
你曾經射殺過別的亞洲人
- Your favorite hangout is a pool hall
你最喜歡的出沒的地方是撞球場
- When you talk, you sound like a cross between a Fob and an urban black kid
你說話時聽起來像 fob 或是黑人小孩
- Your hair looks silly, but no one will tell you because you'll shoot them
你的頭髮看起來很好笑, 但是沒人會跟你說因為怕你會拿槍射他們
- You have a serious gambling problem
你有嚴重的賭博問題
- You are a Rice-boy, but your mods are cheap and are never painted to match the rest of your car
你也算是個 rice boy, 但是你車的組裝看起來很便宜而且漆也沒有配合你車的其他部分
- No one tells you your rice ride looks cheap because you'll shoot them
沒人跟你說你的車看起來很便宜, 也是因為怕你會槍殺他們
- You want to have a Tab girlfriend, but can only get Hoochie Tabs
你想要一個 tab 女朋友, 但是只能交到 hoochie tabs

Tab (Trendy Asian B*tch)

- You shop at A/X, Bebe and Club Monaco
你通常在 A/X Bebe 和 Club Monaco 買衣服
- You only wear black and will occasionally wear white to "mix it up"
你只穿黑色系的衣服, 偶爾會配點白色系
- You do not weigh more than 105 lbs
你不到 105 磅
- You have never paid for dinner at a restaurant in your life
你到餐廳吃飯都不需要付錢
- Platform heels are your favorite
矮子樂是你的最愛
- You are a makeup expert, in fact, you appear completely flawless
你很會化妝, 事實上你的妝通常是毫無瑕疵
- You do not smile in public
你在大眾場合都不會笑
- You are the object of desire of all Asian men and you know it
你知道所有的亞洲男人都被你吸引了
- You smoke
你會抽煙
- Your cell phone is completely customized
你的手機都有個人化
- On the inside flip of your cell phone is a sticker pic of you and your man
手機翻開來裡面是你跟你的男朋友的照片貼紙
- Somewhere in your purse is a Sanrio item
你的皮包中一定有一樣東西是 Sanrio 的
- You only date Asian and will only date a boy with a nice car
你只跟亞洲人交往, 而且一定要是開好車的人
- You are often seen with Rice-boys
你通常是跟 riceboy 在一起
- You never travel alone. You are either in the company of other Tabs or your Rice-boy boyfriend
你從不自己一個人出來, 你不是跟一群 tabs 就是跟你的 rice-boy 男朋友

Hoochie Tab
- You are an import car model
你是進口車的模特兒
- Your boobs are not real
你的胸部不是真的
- There are naked pictures of you floating around on the internet somewhere
網路上的某處有你的裸照
- Stiletto heels are your favorite
細跟高跟鞋是你的最愛
- Your role models are Francine Dee and Kaila Yu
你崇拜 Francine Dee 和 Kaila Yu

- Your boyfriend is a Gangsta Fob
你的男朋友是 gangsta Fob
- You cheat on your boyfriend
你對你的男朋友不忠
- Unlike most Asians, you do not do well in school
不像大部分的亞洲人, 你的功課不是很好

Rice-Boy ( 阿婆最愛用的詞 )

- You drive an Asian import. Usually a Honda or Acura
你開著亞洲車, 通常是 Honda 或是 Acura
- Your souped up car (known as a Rice-ride or Rice-rocket) is unrecognizable from it's original stock form
你的車通常被改得看不出來是哪一家製造的
- Your exhaust pipe is big enough for your head to fit in
你的排氣管大到你的頭可以伸進去
- The spoiler on your car looks like it was made by Boeing
車子後面的 spoiler 看起來像波音出廠的
- The interior of your car also looks like it was designed by Boeing
你的內裝像是波音公司設計的
- You always drive like you are racing someone
你開車時總是看起來像你在跟人家賽車
- You are not afraid of dying in a crash, but you are afraid of speed bumps and parking lot on-ramps
你不怕死在車禍中, 卻擔心車子在過 speed bumps 時碰傷

- The only other person besides yourself who can sit in your car is your 105 lbs Tab girlfriend. If anyone else sits in your car, the entire bottom of it will be touching the ground
唯一可以坐在你車上的只有你的 105 磅的 tab 女朋友, 如果有其他的話, 你的車子底盤就會碰地了
- Even though your car is a Honda, it goes faster and is worth more than a Lotus Esprit
雖然你開的是本田, 但是車子跑的比蓮花跑車還快
- If you drive a Civic, your dream car is a Supra. If you drive a Supra, your dream car is a Skyline (which you can never have). Poor Rice-boy.
如果你開的是喜美, 你理想中的跑車是 Supra, 如果你開 Supra, 你的理想跑車是 Skyline


Fobulous
- You speak perfect English and you are fluent in your native language
你的英文跟你本國的語言都很好
- You have Asian friends as well as non-Asian friends
你的朋友中有非亞洲人也有亞洲人
- You listen to Asian pop as well as American music
你聽亞洲跟美國流行音樂
- You are equally aware of both popular American culture and Asian pop culture
你對美國與亞洲流行文化都很了解
- You are a good dancer
你蠻會跳舞的
- You date Asian by choice even though you could rock the opposite sex of any other race
你自己願意跟亞洲人約會, 但是你也會吸引別的種族
- You are a good designer and have superior Html skills
你自己是個好的設計師並且很會寫網頁
- You have an Apt107 page AND an AA page and the guest books in both are packed
( 這個有沒人要翻一下, 阿婆不會翻拉 )
- For you, FOB stands for Fabulous Oriental Being
對你來說, FOB 是 Fabulous Oriental Being 的簡寫
- You have lots of Asian pride
你因身為亞洲人而驕傲


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cordandme

一個我,一個他,兩隻狗,一隻貓

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  • 小妖姬
  • 我剛剛看你沒回就跑去看Tommy Lee go to College.<br />
    Sorry....妳在上班唷?<br />
    Sorry.......明天上線碰到阿婆的話,小妖會乖乖等你回話的。<br />
    <br />
    good night, have a nice dream.
  • amy0313
  • 這個你是哪個亞洲人,真的有點複雜耶~<br />
    這是美國人的思考方式嗎?
  • cordandme
  • Dear 小妖姬,<br />
    沒差拉, 你忙就去忙阿.. 反正阿婆我也常會突然失蹤說...<br />
    <br />
    Dear Amy,<br />
    這篇文章呢, 如果住在美國就會會心一笑的, 因為你真的可以看到這些類<br />
    別的亞洲人呢!<br />
  • GingerBB
  • 呵呵~<br />
    very interesting...^_^|||<br />
    只是沒有一個能很完整的形容我說<br />
    嚴格要說起來<br />
    我可能比較像是rice-boy除掉車子的部分吧!<br />
    哈哈!<br />
    <br />
    BTW, "Apt107 page and AA page" both are Asian-<br />
    American net communities.<br />
    意思是說你在這兩家蠻大的美裔華人網站裡都有註冊,然後朋<br />
    友很多所以留言版常常都是滿的<br />
    <br />
    anyway<br />
    謝謝來Ginger的網站晃晃<br />
    希望以後有機會可以玩在一起唷...^_^
  • jessiepolke
  • 這文章超好笑的, 真佩服作者, 很幽默!<br />
    <br />
    Jessie